Just a couple months ago I stood approaching a crossroads in my life – several paths lay ahead of me, leading in vastly different directions or (quite possibly) nowhere new at all. In updating friends and family I kept saying I had many irons in the fire, many possibilities which I was simply waiting to turn into full-fledged opportunities. If one fell through, I’d have the others to pursue.
Having been two years since holding a full-time “career” job (aka with benefits and more financial security), I felt like I had to prove I was moving, doing, going. That I wasn’t wasting time playing around. Yes, I was working enough to pay my bills; I had gotten two certifications to bolster my pursuit of a career in health and fitness, as well as making strides in my current role as a yoga and group fitness instructor; I was happier and healthier than when working in my past job. Still I felt pressure from myself to do more, be more.
I applied to teaching jobs I didn’t necessarily want, applied to editing and proofreading jobs I definitely did want (as well as a graduate publishing program that would have advanced my endeavors in that regard), finally applied to a nutrition coaching job that had been my goal since quitting teaching what already seems like a lifetime ago. And it’s that last one that came through, sooner than I had expected it to.
Now, awaiting the on-boarding, the training, the beginning again in a new career as a relative newbie, all of a sudden the other paths have been cleared for me, almost as a tantalizing “what if” montage to tease me at this serendipitous moment of transition. I was accepted into the publishing program, almost days from being invited to teach full-time at a school I actually like, and this within weeks of being hired as a nutrition coach (admittedly, the greatest – and by that I mean perhaps the scariest – goal I had set myself of the three).
And there’s the rub. I’m going down the scariest path. It’s the most different from what I’ve known, the furthest from the cozy world of academia I’ve been accustomed to up to this point. And for that I’ve determined it will be the most exciting for me to explore.
I’m not going to lie, I stress out about this kind of stuff big time. I get anxious, as I’m sure many people can relate to. Any big change can be anxiety-inducing – but if yoga has taught me anything (and yes, I will continue to teach yoga and group fitness!), it’s that the only way is through. I will move forward, breathing deeply, trusting that every challenge will change me into someone stronger and wiser, and that no matter what happens I will have my breath on the other side.
Another axiom of yoga: practice and all is coming. Much is suddenly coming, and I rely on my practice as I forge ahead in the adventure ride that is this crazy, beautiful, unexpected life.